Trash Talk is Garbage: What To Do About It (Part I)

May 28, 2018

He was the Chairman of the Board of a reputable agency engaged in commending Yeshua-faith to Jewish people. So maybe it wasn’t nice for me to hit him in the head with a two-by-four . . . metaphorically, that is. But that's what I did. And here’s how it happened.

We were chatting over a cup of coffee, and I said something to him that stunned him because in his world, such things were never even imagined. I said to him that I believed that Jewish religious culture is superior to Christian religious culture when it comes to speech ethics. His eyes rolled in his head. I think he got weak in the knees. He grew pale for just a moment. He respected me and here I was saying that Jewish religious culture was better at something than Christian religious culture. For him, such a thought had never been "thunk" because for him, as for so many, the assumption is that in every way Christianity is an advance over Judaism. To which the Prophet Stuart saith, "Not so fast."

The X Files was right: the truth is out there. Especially in the last 100 years or so, with the contributions of Rabbi Israel Meir HaKohen Kagen, also known as the Chofetz Chaim, Jewish speech ethics has been in hyperdrive while for the most part, other religious cultures are riding Balaam's donkey. The Chofetz Chaim lived 95 years and wrote 21 well-known scholarly works demonstrating his mastery of a wide range of Jewish lore. And one of the areas he mastered was a Torah-based analysis of the sins of social speech. Happily, he also offered remedies for what ails us. It would do us, our politics, and our Facebook pages a lot of good if we paid attention to him.

Among Messianic Jews of our day, the best work I know of on speech ethics is a small book, Taming the Tongue, by Mark Kinzer.[1] Although much more concise than the works by the Chofetz Chaim, Kinzer’s work is penetrating in its analysis of how “The tongue has power over life and death” (Pr 18:21). Another work of penetrating power is Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well by Rabbi Joseph Telushkin.[2] While Kinzer’s book derives its power from penetrating Scripture analysis, Telushkin's devastating contemporary illustrations nail us all, showing that the answer to the question, "Lord, is it I," is a dominical, "You bet it is!"

Few will deny that public and private discourse are in sharp decline. Whether it is sexualized, violent, and misogynistic rap lyrics, rapid-fire denunciations and characterization on social media and in TV, radio, and the print media, or the neo-Orwellian pressure upon all of us to practice “newspeak,” by which we mean culturally driven evolving conventions of speech controlling language, reshaping grammar, and limiting vocabulary, even as enforced by the government. The dark side of today’s newspeak is how it limits freedom of thought, tweaking personal identity, and controlling self-expression. But the problem isn't fundamentally the government intruding on our rights.  No, the monster is closer in. The problem is trash talk—the things we say to and about each other, and against which we have become desensitized. The nursery rhyme was wrong when it said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never harm me.” In some ways, words are even more harmful than sticks and stones. It's time we owned up to the fact that we are guilty of verbal assault and battery, and in some cases, social murder. Yes. That too.

That’s why Kinzer is right to begin his treatment where the Bible begins, with the creation account where we see how “By the word of ADONAI the heavens were made, and their whole host by a breath from his mouth” (Psalm 33:6). This emphasis on the power of speech continues with the creation of Adam, who exercised dominion (governing power), over the created order by speech, naming the animals that God brought before him. Somehow assigning a name established lines of authority and power, and the human being is the only terrestrial creation with the power of speech.

So it is true that words are powerful. And perhaps you will agree that today words are used more often to hurt than to heal, more often to divide than to unite. Neither the purposes of God nor the holiness he requires can progress if such things remain unchanged. We need to take our powers of communication in hand, both constraining them against misuse and harnessing them for creative and life-giving purposes.

Kinzer points us to Matthew 12:33-37 as a powerful and chilling word from Yeshua about our accountability to God for the words that we speak.

33 "If you make a tree good, its fruit will be good; and if you make a tree bad, its fruit will be bad; for a tree is known by its fruit.  34 You snakes! How can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what overflows from the heart. 35 The good person brings forth good things from his store of good, and the evil person brings forth evil things from his store of evil. 36 Moreover, I tell you this: on the Day of Judgment people will have to give account for every careless word they have spoken; 37 for by your own words you will be acquitted, and by your own words you will be condemned." 

If we believe that Yeshua does not lie and that his word is truth, then this passage, especially the last two verses, should be all we need to make speech ethics a top priority in our walk with God.

Part Two of this series on our trash talk is coming later this week. Meanwhile, here are a couple of exercises for you to put into practice right now. That means immediately!

  1. What have you said on Facebook about Democrats as a class? What have you said about Republicans as a class?
  2. What kinds of negative things have you allowed to be said about others in your presence without protesting? Have the statements been true, necessary, and kind?
  3. The Bible says we are supposed to speak the truth in love. Is that what you see? Is that what you do? On a scale of 1-5, with 5 being "pure as the driven snow" where are you?

See you later this week.



[1] Mark Kinzer, Taming the Tongue (Marshfield, MO: First Fruits of Zion) 2015.

[2] Joseph Telushkin, Words That Hurt, Words That Heal: How to Choose Words Wisely and Well (New York: W. Morrow and Co.), 1996.


7 comments on “Trash Talk is Garbage: What To Do About It (Part I)”

  1. Where does Yeshua's "brood of vipers" talk fit in with speaking the truth in love? Matthew 12:34 (CJB): 34 You snakes! How can you who are evil say anything good?

    Also, Matthew 23:27–28 (CJB): You are like whitewashed tombs, which look fine on the outside but inside are full of dead people’s bones and all kinds of rottenness. 28 Likewise, you appear to people from the outside to be good and honest, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and far from Torah."

    1. Thank you for your comment, Patricia. Here is my response. Yeshua is acting as as prophet to Israel at this time, indeed, the Prophet above all prophets. As a prophet he has the insight into God's will, and the authority and assignment to confront Israel with her sins. As God said to Isaiah, "“Cry aloud; do not hold back; lift up your voice like a trumpet; declare to my people their transgression, to the house of Jacob their sins." This was Yeshua's office from which He was speaking. In addition, as the King of Israel, he is their judge. However, as much as i like you Patricia, this is not your office and it is not your privilege nor is it mine. Therefore Yeshua's words to the leaders and teachers of israel are not and indeed must not be a model for our own behavior. For us to act in this way would be prideful and inappropriate. And indeed, God has some very harsh words for those who speak against His people in such a fashion without the authorization to do so.

      1. So is there no legitimate harshly "speaking truth to power" since none of us are biblical prophets?

        1. Absolutely we are obliged and allowed to speak truth to power, but always respectfully. Remember it was Peter, who would later be crucified upside down by the might of Rome, who told us, "Be subject for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether it be to the emperor as supreme, [14] or to governors as sent by him to punish those who do evil and to praise those who do good. [15] For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. [16] Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. [17] Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor. (ESV)

          One may and should speak "prophetically" to the institutions and bearers of power, but within and expressive of a fundamental respect. I am mindful of David and his refusal to deal contemptuously or aggressively with King Saul because Saul remained the LORD's anointed even thought David knew he was the designated successor, anointed likewise by God. He showed honor to pathological, paranoid, murderous, idolatrous Saul every step of the way.

          We may and must speak truth to power, but this gives us no license to deal disrespectfully with them. Remember David. And remember Peter.

    1. Let me suggest that haRav Yeshua ben Yosef spoke polemically to fellow Pharisees, as equals, in a spirit of pilpul that argues vehemently and adamantly in favor of an alternative view of a halachic issue. He spoke dismissively to the faulty interpretive error of fellow Jews who were Sadducees. He did not speak disrespect at the High Priest during his trial, despite certain breaches of legal protocol; and he did not speak disrespect at the Roman governor Pilate. Context is a critical factor in analyzing these cases of critical speech. Without oversimplifying too much, I might limit the notion of "Lashon ha-r'a" to "ad hominum" verbal assaults or to the category of slanderous or libelous speech. Criticism of ideas or political or religious stances does not need to fall into such categories; and it becomes wrong when it does. Even condemnatory prophecy is not the same as mere railing or vituperation.

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